Just the three of us

Presidential hopeful Rick Perry demonstrates his favorite way to hold a corn dog.

Isn't it always the way?

Two nights ago, Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry, a man who is almost succeeding in making his fellow Texan George Bush look intelligent, provided hours of entertainment when he announced that his economic plan called for the elimination of three government agencies...and then forgot the names of the three he was looking to axe.

"Let me tell you, it’s three agencies that are gone when I get there," said Perry, just brimming with confidence (but not necessarily grammatical syntax). "Commerce, Education, and the um, what’s the third one there? Commerce, education and eh, eh...'"

Mitt Romney, trying to be helpful, suggested, "EPA?"

Perry scratched his his head and made the face Darren always used to make in Bewitched, when Samanatha disappears from the kitchen in the opening credits. "No, that's not it..."

Hey, I know how those things go. I'm FOREVER having the same problem at the supermarket. Whenever I have three things I need to get, it seems like I can always remember the first two items, but once I have those two in hand, try as I might, I can never remember what that third thing was. It's so annoying! There I stand in the supermarcado, looking a little like Darren and scratching my head. Chicken soup, gruel, and...oh gosh...chicken soup, gruel, and...dammit, what was it again?

Then I go home, all frustrated, and the minute I step into the living room, that's when I remember: Oh right, tampons! How could I possibly have forgotten?

I'm sure it must have been the same thing for Mr. Perry last night, only in reverse, right? Instead of picking things up, he's looking to go all "Hulk smash" on three agencies. Same concept, though...dammit, what was the frickin' name of that third agency? Oh right...tampons!

I wonder, do you think he went home that night, and after taking off his slippers and throwing the blankets back, sat there for a moment, his hands in his head. His wife moves over, pats him on the back "What's the matter, honey?" "I'm the...worst...Republican presidential...candidate...ever!" he sobs.

Well, maybe.

Of course, Herman Cain's having the same problem, too. What were the names of those ladies I was inappropriate with, again? Man, it's so hard to remember once you get past the first two...

I tell you, my holiday card this year is going to be so damn entertaining...